


An Unexpected Role

by flibbertygigget



Series: An Unexpected Universe [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Family Fluff, Gen, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 16:46:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15953447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flibbertygigget/pseuds/flibbertygigget
Summary: In which Dudley Dursley has a plan.





	An Unexpected Role

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Un rôle inattendu](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17261639) by [Matteic_FR (Matteic)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Matteic/pseuds/Matteic_FR)



By his sixth birthday, Dudley Dursley had it all planned out. Harry hadn't thought that the plan was needed, but Dudley knew more about adults than Harry did. He may have resented having to go back to Dad's every other weekend, and thus only having half as much time with Mr. Snape when school was in session, but right now Dudley was glad for the experience. Between balancing Mum and Dad and Dad's New Girlfriend and Mr. Snape, Dudley knew that he would be able to get what he wanted when Harry would just muck it up.

With Dad, you caught him after dinner but before he turned on the telly on a day where you'd had a chance to show him some proper respect, a daunting prospect at the best of times. With Mum, she'd consider it if you helped with some chores without being asked. Dad's New Girlfriend was annoying inconsistent, though that may have been because she was a different person every time Dudley was over there.

Dudley hadn't had as much time to figure out Mr. Snape. Harry just asked, he'd said, but Dudley knew that with //him there was a difference. Mr. Snape and Harry had being magic in common, and no matter how much Mr. Snape acted like it didn't matter Dudley knew that it did.

After all, Mr. Snape could teach Harry spells. Harry could ride a child's broom by himself, while Dudley had to ride with one of the wizards. And worst of all, no matter how many books he struggled to read and ingredients he helped prepare, Dudley would never be able to brew potions and make Mr. Snape proud. The fact that Harry didn't have any interest in brewing at all was just a small consolation.

Still, Dudley knew that Mr. Snape was happiest when brewing, so he had decided to put his plan into action the first time that Mr. Snape let him help with the ingredients that summer.

School let out a week after Dudley's sixth birthday, and that meant that Mr. Snape was back as well. Of course, he still had work to do - tending the part of the garden Harry and Dudley weren't allowed in and brewing for the hospital wing and doing his own research. Dudley couldn't help with the research - that was too dangerous - but he was allowed to help prepare the ingredients for the next year's hospital wing brewing.

They were doing Pepperup first, which meant crushing dried fire ants and dicing ginger root. Mr. Snape smiled and told him he did well on the ginger, and that was when Dudley decided to put his plan into action.

"Do you think Dad will ever get married again?" he asked. Mr. Snape raised his eyebrow.

"I have no idea," he said.

"I mean, he and his New Girlfriend have been going out a whole month now, which is longer than any of the others. She doesn't seem to like me much, though."

"Well, it's only been a month. I wouldn't worry just yet."

"If Dad married her, would she be my aunt?"

"No, of course not. She'd be your stepmother."

"Good. I mean, Harry has an aunt and an uncle and another aunt that's not really his aunt. I wish I had an uncle. I just have Aunt Marge, and Dad says that I won't have an uncle from her because she's a lesbian."

"Very logical."

"Aunt Marge hasn't visited for a while because she has a girlfriend and Dad doesn't like her. Are you going to be my stepfather?" Mr. Snape laughed harder than Dudley had ever seen him laugh.

"I really, really hope not," he said when he had finally stopped laughing. "Your mother and I would drive each other mad."

"She says that about you already."

"I would expect nothing less."

"Well, if you can't be my stepfather, could you at least be my uncle?" Mr. Snape stopped stirring the cauldron for a whole five seconds. "I mean, Harry has an aunt that's not really his aunt, so maybe I could have an uncle that's not really my uncle. And I could share with Harry, so you could be his uncle too."

"Why the f- Why the devil would you want me to be your uncle?"

"Because I don't have one." Mr. Snape looked at him doubtfully.

"Very well," he said slowly, as though he couldn't quite understand what he was agreeing to. Dudley grinned.

"I'll go tell Harry you said yes," he said, jumping down from the chair. "Thanks, Uncle Sev."

"It's Uncle Severus!" Uncle Sev yelled after him, but he didn't sound all that upset. In fact, Dudley could swear he was smiling.


End file.
